squishisms.com

Any 8 year can tell you what it means, if you aren’t sure.

*ahem*

Xamine Your Zipper.

Now, bear with me for a minute while we skinny dip in a sea of metaphor.

Wow.  That was just mean.  I apologize.  I couldn’t help myself though.  Stay with me.  It IS game day and I might have had some vodka.  I’m getting somewhere though, I promise.

*ahem*

Socrates said “The unexamined life is not worth living.”  I have spent these last twenty-five days reflecting on my life.  Examining the last year in minute detail as I strove to find things to be grateful for that began with certain letters.  I found, as mentioned in the S blog, that there was much more than I expected.

Some days though, it was a struggle – and I let all my ugly bits hang out for the world to see.  One day, in particular, I neglected to ‘Xamine {my} Zipper.’  And instead just spewed ugly in your eyes.

Yeah, I went there.

I told you – a SEA of metaphor here today ladies and gents.

A zipper holds back, hides, the ’shameful’ parts of us.  The parts society says should be kept private.  That society has insisted are Private for long, that it became a euphemism.  Parts of us that, frankly, no one else wants to see without advanced warning, and then may still put the kibosh on the idea of letting all that hang out in the breeze…

My biggest lesson in the last year has been to examine that line.  As I’ve quit smoking and re-learned to manage my emotions.  As I got in trouble for blogging at work because my words hurt someone’s feelings (again.)  My lesson has been learning when to share…and when to simply sit quietly.  To think about WHY I want to say something, and try to do so before saying it.  To determine if I SHOULD unzip… in that moment…that situation.  To evaluate if the good it does me outweighs the harm it could cause another.  And then to act accordingly.

I have learned that when I do this – I find my Xanadu.  I am the ruler of my little slice of life, with a pretty palace near a sacred river.  But it is every bit as fleeting as Coleridge’s Opium-induced vision…  For though I am older than I was, I am not yet wise – and I find myself grateful for my follies – because I truly believe they are what is keeping me Young (at heart.)

And I am grateful for the Zipper that separates it all.

N is for NORTH CAROLINA.  Game day is tomorrow.  If you are not rooting for UNC, do NOT call/txt or otherwise talk smack to me.  I WILL hunt you down and beat you mercilessly.  I have no delusions regarding the national championship…this season…so this ONE game means more to me than the rest of the season.  I. Am. Serious. S.H.U.T. I.T.

*ahem*

N is for NOVEL.  Specifically this Novel. Go ahead.  Click it.  Buy It.  Read it.  Love it.  I’ve waited FOREVER for this to come to fruition, both out of selfishness (wanting the ending) and love (wanting Ms. Wicked to be published.)  And Now it is.  It makes me giddy.

N is for NONSMOKER.  That’s me.  Not gonna lie, there have been days, here and there, where I have fallen off the wagon and let myself and others down… but I can feel it now.  The affects.  I smell myself after just one.  I can smell other people’s smoke after they’ve gone.  I won’t go back there… I think.  mostly.  And even though it’s not 100%, I am proud of it.  And grateful for it…mostly.

Other than that… It’s late in Amandaland…and I am still sick, and thus tired.  So I will leave it at that.